The Boy Who Can't Die
by Nyx Admete
Summary: It's 2019 and Harry Potter proceeded with his life as per normal, sending his children off to Hogwarts. As the train pulled off from the track, he started wondering about his life. It was only later when he found out, He Can't Die. (Post Deathly Hallows / Time Travel) - Rewriting this story. Prologue stays the same. Will change some major points.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters in canon.

_Italics_ - Said by Harry himself.

* * *

A/N: I've decided to change a few major points in my planning of this fic, so i'm rewriting the whole fic again. The prologue stays the same but the direction will be changed a little. Will update once i've read through the next chapter and decide it's ready to be publicized.

* * *

39 years old Harry potter smiled and waved as he watched the Hogwarts Express pull away from the platform. When the train was no more than a speck in the distance, he slowly allowed his smile to wane as he stared blankly, watching the crowd disperse around him. Releasing the breath that he didn't notice that he was holding, he ran his hand through the messy locks of his still-unruly hair, pushing down the emptiness in his heart that threatened to overwhelm him again.

_Something's wrong with me._

"Harry? It's time to go now."

Turning to look beside him, he gave a small smile to Hermione and nodded his head, slowly turning around to join his long-term best friends on their trek back to work.

Lately, he have been feeling this odd sense of emptiness inside him, it was like something that was once there was lost and that he could never get it back. He was sure it wasn't from the loss of Ginny when she passed away two years ago in a Quidditch accident. Instead, he had started to doubt himself as to whether he truly loved her from his heart with her death. He felt strangely... empty. He did feel a little sense of loss, but that was from the loss of something constant in his life.

No, this feeling was there even before the loss of Ginny. If he could actually point it out, he would almost be assured that it started during the day when he finally defeated Voldemort.

At the beginning, he wondered if it was due to the loss of the Elder Wand which he had discarded, but he quickly dismissed that idea as he didn't have this feeling before he was the master of death.

Then he wondered if it was because he had died once, which caused him to feel the after effects of having met with death, but without anyone else whom he is aware of to share the experience with, and he definitely do not want to try it out with any of his friends, he had no way of finding it out.

Another was that it was due to the loss of a motive in his life, since he have been living his entire life with the goal of destroying Voldemort. Hell, even when he wasn't aware, his life have been brought into chaos by that damn Voldie, and the moment that he died, everything that he had probably lived for was gone.

He wasn't sure what was happening to him, but the fact that it all happened when Voldemort died was definite. That everything he had lived for was gone was definite too. He ceased feeling any extreme emotions after that, not even when his children was born or when he married Ginny, neither when he lost Ginny. The things that should be the most important in his life, he still couldn't feel anything.

_Except one thing..._

If he was honest to himself, there was one aspect of his life that he was certain that it was growing strong as time passed. It seemed to pulse all the way from inside the core of his magic, beckoning him to do something. It had seemed stronger when his hand gripped tight around his wand. Clenching his teeth as he squeezed his eyes shut, the tightness around his chest slowly easing as he apparated back into his room.

He had lied to both Ron and Hermione. He wasn't going back to the ministry today. He had something else to do. Thinking back, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, he just felt like he should be here. Alone. Especially since all the children were finally back at Hogwarts and everyone else was at work. No one could stop him now. Looking back down at his wand, it was like his body and magic knew what to do next. Kneeling down on the carpet floor before his bed, he pointed the wand to his chest, steeling his grip as he said the words he had been yearning to say for 22 years.

_"Avada Kedavra"_

* * *

A dusty blond haired woman stood right outside the door peering in, her dazed eyes slowly sliding into focus as tears threatened to fall, as she felt her eyes drawn towards the glassy green eyes before her, a shade so alike the killing curse that she had seen mere seconds ago. Taking a step back, she felt the sudden warp in the air that seemed to come from the body that was once her dear friend before her. Tears started pooling down her eyes; she took a deep breath and tried to still her trembling lips as she said the few words she felt that she should have said long ago.

"I'm sorry Harry... if only... I was stronger 28 years ago..."

* * *

"Good luck, Harry."

Eyes drifting open, the little boy bundled up in blankets instinctively huddled deeper into the warmth, hands rubbing against the letter beside him. Finally registering his surroundings, he clenched and unclenched his shivering hands in an attempt to keep them warm. The bright green eyes shone in the dead of the night, however, if one bothered to look closer, they would have noticed the lone tear that travelled down his cheeks and the way his eyes looked, weary with age.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters in canon.

_Italics_ - Said by Harry himself.

* * *

A/N: As most of you would have noticed, I took down this Chapter and rewrote it entirely as I changed a couple of major points in my story when I realized that the personality of Harry doesn't fit well with certain actions of his. Certain parts of this chapter is directly taken from my previously written one so it might seem familiar, but I have edited a couple of words to make it fit better.

I haven't passed this to another to edit this chapter so I apologize for the grammar mistakes in here, as I'm pretty sure I'd have.

Nothing is confirmed yet in regards to pairings and stuff as i'm really not one for romance, but if it happens to fit well i'd change the pairing and I might change the ratings of this story to M depending on how violent the scenes I write can get. Even If i were to incorporate Romance in this story, I doubt i'll ever add Lemon in here.

This story is not abandoned, just that my work in events have been taking up most of my time and I am only free to write after midnight. Hopefully I'd have more time to invest in this with the upcoming holidays.

I have pretty much planned all the major plots of this story and am now focusing on the minor details. I'll try to refer back to lexicon as much as possible. Honestly speaking, this plot I have thought up is pretty warped in it's own way and i'm worried i'll mess it up, as it could get really confusing at the end. As this story progresses, just try to hold on and hopefully you won't get any headaches in the midst.

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_"Dobby!"_

Harry tried again, hoping that the house elves magic would allow Dobby to hear him calling despite still being under the Malfoy's and not knowing that Harry Potter actually knew him.

The faint pop of House Elf apparition never came. Harry sighed. There goes the option of hoping that Dobby could transport him to Azkaban and maybe those dementors would actually successfully kill him with the kiss of death.

Harry had tried several attempts at getting the Dursleys to kill him, and when one of the starving attempts actually succeeded, he ended up being brought back to the time when his parents died again, or more specifically, became Voldemort's Horcrux again. He hoped that if his soul was eaten up, he wouldn't be able to come back alive but there's always a possibility that he would still be conscious inside the Dementor's tummy, which pretty much defeats the purpose. That was one thing he hoped that it won't happen, as having to see the cries of people around him as the dementor fed really isn't on his list of top ten most appealing sights and happenings.

Another option was to visit the Ministry and pass through the Veil. That would be a tough feat if he didn't have Dobby's help too. Imagine their reactions when they find out that the fabled Boy-Who-Lived were suicidal, given if he could actually enter the Department of Mysteries.

He supposed that he had to attend Hogwarts first before he could find a way where he could stop repeating his life over and over again, and meet Dobby.

Sighing, Harry leaned back into his bed in the small cupboard and stared at the Hogwarts Letter he had received earlier today. Not willing to risk repeating his life over again on "accidents", Harry saw no point in going through the tour around the world another time with the Dursleys just to avoid the letter.

Harry contemplated not attending Hogwarts at all and to live a muggle life, but his current condition was apparently magical and that he needed to find out and ensure that he would be able to die and not repeat his life over and over again.

Fingering the runes scattered around the Hogwarts seal to ensure that the letter is not readable by muggles not in his immediate family, Harry stared at the clock as it stroke 12, and carefully folded the letter into his pockets.

_"Time to go." _

Pulling on several layers of over sized shirts over his small frame to keep warm, Harry retied his shoe lace and made sure that his scar is well hidden underneath the tattered cap.

Silently closing the front door, Harry stuck his wand hand out as he stood by the road side of Number Four Privet drive, making sure to focus his magic to the tip of his finger.

A loud pop sounded as the Knight Bus stopped in front of him and opened to reveal Stan Shunpike, who was unfolding a note in his hand.

"Welcome to the Knight Bus, Emergency Transport for the stranded Witch or Wizard. My name is Stan Shunpike, and I will be your conductor for this evening."

Harry spun his head back towards the buildings at Privet drive when there was a familiar prickling feeling at the back of his neck, just as Stan droned on the same few words he has been hearing for ages. Squinting his eyes against the darkness Harry was certain that he was being watched, and it seemed like he could sense that there was a magical being nearby, how he had no idea.

_Sirius?_

Shaking his head at that ridiculous thought, Harry reached out with his Legilimency.

Swearing under his breath, he rushed up the bus and hurriedly handed Stan £3.25 for his trip to the Leaky Cauldron and ignored the snarl forming on Stan's face. It wasn't that hard to change muggle money for sickles in Gringotts.

Burying his face in the pillow as the Knight Bus squeezed and veered along the dark streets, Harry wondered what he could do from now on. There was no way he could go back to the Dursleys anymore and he didn't even get to bring any of his belongings out, not unless he wanted to be a prisoner in his own room again, with members of the order keeping their eyes on him wherever he went. He should have remembered that Mrs Figgs was still on orders by Dumbledore to keep an eye on him, and that taking the knight bus before he even encountered the Wizarding world would give off warning bells. Obviously Mrs Figgs would have magic in her even though she was a squib, she just didn't have enough magic in her to cast spells.

He just had only one place to stay in if he didn't want to be found that easily and be restricted in performing magic.

* * *

After grabbing a bag filled with gold from Gringotts, which he had managed to access his vault by proof of blood and effectively banned the use of Keys to access his vault, Harry walked through Knockturn Alley with purposeful strides towards Waffling Alley. He had stumbled upon this area during one of his Ministry Raids for dark objects in Knockturn Alley. Knockturn Alley was the only possible passageway to Waffling Alley, which was why many Light-Magic oriented Wizarding folks weren't aware of it, however it's more of a Neutral-Magic market than a Dark-Magic market. Those of the Light-Magic oriented who were aware of this place preferred to travel here by apparition. It was a place where all sorts of items of all types of magic orientation was sold, and wasn't governed by the Ministry; thus performing magic here even when you're underage wouldn't be tracked by the Ministry. It also meant that unforgivables aren't restricted here either.

In its own way Waffling Alley was a dangerous place to be in with its lack of law and order.

After much venturing around, noting what each shop sells, Harry finally found the custom-made wand tent which offered a wide variety of wand woods and cores that would be more fitting to his magic core. Pushing open the flaps of the tent as he peered in, almost giving a startle as he found himself staring right at a pair of huge unblinking eyes.

"Come in Mr. Potter, I have no doubts that your wand combination would be most fascinating given the special circumstances you've found yourself in after going through death and life as many times as you did."

_"How did…"_ Harry's mouth dropped open as he processed the words of the Raven long-haired man before him.

"Just as how Ollivander had the gift of memory, I have the gift of seeing a person's magic core, both excellent gifts for being wand makers if you'd ask me. Now don't worry about me revealing your secret, I'm under oath to not reveal."

_"I'm not really bothered abo…"_

"Now enough of the senseless chatter and let's get on with this. Here are all the wand cores I have available in my shop right now, all I'd need for you to do is raise your hand and try to summon them to you. The ones that are suited to you would be easiest to summon." Eagerly prompting him to choose, Harry raised his eyebrows as he wondered what would happen to wizard or witches who didn't know how to cast the summoning charm wandlessly but sighed before raising his wand hand in front of him, face gazing straight, looking away from the cores so that he wouldn't be tempted to summon the ones that caught his attention.

_*thump*_

Harry blinked as he took a deep breath. Ignoring the weird feeling coming from his chest, his attention returned to the commotion as within mere seconds he started hearing several sounds of cores zooming right at him.

The Raven haired man hurriedly cast a freezing charm and a levitation charm so that all the wand cores would stop in mid-flight and hover as he picked out the cores that were closest to Harry.

"Interesting, that's a wide variety of cores you've got there… you have the Blast-ended Skrewt Claw…" Harry grimaced as he heard that, earning himself a chuckle from the man. "The Chimaera Mane Hair… the Crup Hair, Erumpent Horn… rare core I'd say.. took me a while hunting in Africa… Manticore Hair… Phoenix Feather.. now which is the one closest to you…" He quickly cast a slight measuring charm and plucked the ones further away from him out one by one. Harry sighed in relief as the Blast-ended Skrewt Claw was taken out from the list but stopped to look at the man as the Erumpent Horn was the last one left. He had expected the Phoenix Feather again but figured that since this wasn't given by Fawkes, the other Phoenixes would probably be unwilling to share a feather with him.

"Erumpent Horn… interesting… very unpredictable… wouldn't do good to provoke. Next, let's choose the wand woods. Place the wand core in your hand, clench it, and channel your magic through it, while slowly moving your fist through the woods here one by one. Those that are compatible with your magic and core would glow. The brightest one would be the most compatible."

Harry slowly focused and pulled his magic from deep inside his core and channeled them into the core in his fist, before he even started to move, several wand woods instantly glowed. Harry made sure to ignore the louder thump from inside his chest and made a note to read up on that later.

_"Oops.. I must have put in too much power."_

"That you have, no worries, just hold it for a while as I keep the ones that aren't glowing. Let's see… Alder wood… Ash… Cypress… Holly… Willow and Yew… ah yes… Definitely the Cypress Wood, brave, bold and self-sacrificing. Another interesting match with your Erumpent Horn… now hold both of them together in one hand and channel your magic through them." Harry raised his eyebrow again; feeling slightly irritated at this different kind of wand matching but did what he was told to do. Suddenly both the wand and core glowed and shrunk, bending slightly.

"Ah yes, 12 inches, slightly yielding. Skeptical but kind and compassionate, now give me a few minutes while I make your wand."

Harry sat down at one of the couches as he pondered over the changes in his wand's wood, flexibility and size. It was possible that his wand size changed due to him not starved at all in this life time, and had filled out considerably, but his wand's wood and flexibility have showed the changes in mindset and personality after a lifetime worth of challenges.

"Here you go, now give it a wave. Let's see if this wand has really chosen you." Harry picked up the wand and immediately felt a warmth spring up from his magic core as it rose to connect with the wand's core, warming up his whole body as his magic tingled with glee. The reaction he had for this wand was much more than how he felt for his previous holly wand. He figured it was because he had picked out the best choices for different parts of the wand that wanted to be with him the most. Giving a small smile for the first time in his life, he quickly paid for his wand and strode out of the shop, finally not feeling as alone as he had been for 9-10 years.

* * *

"Any news from the residents at Diagon Alley?"

"Yes Albus, Harry Potter was last seen heading towards Knockturn Alley, no one dared to follow him after that." Auror Kingsley sighed as he straightened his robes.

Dumbledore creased his eyebrows as he sucked on another sherbet lemon.

After the fire call from dear Mrs Figgs, he had rushed down to Diagon Alley after finding out where the Knight Bus was headed but was too late in stopping Harry. He had no way of finding out where he went and hoped that nothing amiss happens to him.

"Moody, maybe you could join Kingsley and Lupin to find Harry in Knocturn Alley. If there's any sightings of him, make your own judgement as to whether you should inform me first or bring him back to safety instead."

Harry, where are you?!

Dumbledore frowned as he stared at the silver trinkets around his table, which had fallen 30 minutes ago.

* * *

Harry pumped his fist as he finally succeeded in making a vanishing cupboard out of his two trunks. He had made sure to buy two identical magically expanded trunks along with a pair of two-way mirrors when he pondered where he should store the newly bought, and not-so recommended for First Year students to be found reading.

Bringing it with him in his trunks, even with all the wards he could have placed on it would still bring a risk and he didn't want any of his attempts at "self-discovery" to be foiled. He had returned to Hogwarts to study the Vanishing Cupboards Malfoy had used to connect both to overstep the school's wards and the wary eyes of Albus. The two-way mirror was to ensure that no one was within hearing or sight radius as he transport to and from his bed in his dorm and his new room in the inn in Waffling Alley.

Scanning around his small room, which was way better than his life in the cupboard, he thought that it wasn't so bad having to leave the Dursleys.

It was a small room with a raised platform for his bed, a small desk to the opposite of it. The small teak wardrobe was placed between his bed and his "toilet", which consists of a sink, loo and shower, hidden behind separators.

Oak wardrobes lined the entire wall facing the door, filled with books he managed to salvage from his trips down Diagon, Knockturn, and Waffling Alley. Harry had also bought a palm sized black sack with silver strings coming out from the right, black strings coming out from the left. He could mail anything by putting the article inside and pulling the silver strings to close it, and he could receive his mails when he pulled the black strings. He decided to not have any animals with him at all, despite wanting one, as he didn't want anyone to be cooped up in the room like him, and if he ever did lose Hedwig again, he doubted he'd be able to handle it anymore. Not having his dear owl had eaten a lot out of him as he was constantly in her company during the summer holidays.

The mail service office had also offered services to get rid of hexes and jinxes, as well as howlers if they were to reach him, and he had also asked the goblins to mail him his monthly statements while still sending Dumbledore too. Harry had been shocked when he found that Dumbledore had been keeping track of HIS vault and didn't find any need to inform him, nor did he request for the bank statements to be sent to him when he was back in the Wizarding world.

_What has that guy been up to?!_

Placing both his trunks beside his bed, Harry stretched as he lay down, his thoughts wandering back to his previous life.

Lately, he didn't have that huge impulse to kill himself as he had back in his previous life. He had attributed that to the fact that he had his life goal again, which was to defeat Voldemort. Whenever he subconsciously brushed his fingers against his scar, he would feel a certain warm throb wash over him, calming his nerves. It was extremely confusing, knowing that it was a part of his enemy's soul, but he guessed that if the soul was to leech on his magic, he at least had to make it count for something. Despite that, Harry was still hopeful that he might one day, finally be able to be reunited with his parents.

He had seemed to have developed a thirst for knowledge back when he was working in the Ministry, as it helped distract him from the feeling welling up inside him. Hermione had been delighted to find the new change in his attitude and had been enthusiastically introducing books that she found intriguing enough. Ron just raised his eyebrow in response and shook his head. A warm feeling swelled up against his chest into a stifled sob.

_Hermione and Ron…_

These 9 to 10 years without them was hard, really hard. Having been with them every day for close to 25 years proved to be a hard habit to break, and he was worried if they could be as close as they once were in the previous life, with the possible mental age gap and the possibility that he had to hide his "time travelling" from them, lest they get jumbled up with him and ended up dying. It was harder to control the flood gates now since he seemed to have gotten his "emotions" back.

During his trips down Knockturn Alley, Harry had noticed Mad-Eye Moody before his revolving eye swept to his direction, which by then, he had already apparated into Waffling Alley. Thankful of the wards erected in this Neutral-Alley, any form of tracking is permanently ineffective. Since then he had made a point to apparate to Diagon and Knocturn Alley when it was really important.

He had no doubt that Dumbledore would be looking for him now that he had officially ceased to call Privet Drive his "home" and that the wards had fallen. The wards are of no use to him, especially since he had no wish to continue staying alive. That particular blood magic that he used to erect the wards… Harry had done brief research on it and had found it in one of the books kept by the Unspeakables in the Ministry; it was listed as one of the tightest secured blood magic books. He couldn't believe that Dumbledore actually knew of such dangerous blood magic, and that the Unspeakables would even allow him to use it. That had made him wonder whether Dumbledore was the one who taught Lily to perform the ritual to protect him, on the sacrifice of her own life. It was indeed "Love" that pushed her to take that step to save his life, but had it caused him to be unable to actually "die"?


End file.
